Fear Was the Problem

Originally posted on Spiritual Awakening:

Fear was my biggest problem. I had no idea.

I didn’t know anger was fear. I thought my anger was justified. I didn’t like being angry, but I thought I couldn’t help it. It was a natural response to a broken world and its broken people.

I didn’t know anxiety was fear. I thought my circumstances warranted anxiety. I thought the solution was to change the circumstances. The circumstances were impossible to change.

I didn’t know resentment was fear. I thought my feelings of resentment were justified. My resentments extended back many years. They produced anger, sadness, and discomfort. I was stuck with them.

I didn’t know jealousy was fear. I thought my jealousy was caused by others.

I didn’t know sadness was fear. How could sadness be fear?

The negative feelings were with me for years. I thought they were a permanent part of me and intrinsic to all…

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All the life we seek similar people – whatever similar we find in them, we tend to assume a global similarity, we want to believe we can find a kind of clone of ourselves. We seek similar people to feel understood as much as possible, but all what we find is apparent, linear similarity that sooner or later makes us disappointed, makes us feel alone and lost in others’ dissimilarity and diversity, awakes anew our fear of being not understood and rejected that makes us keep dreaming about the other half and seeking further the best opportunities.

Yet whatever we seek of fear is going to be taken away from us, because it separates us from Truth, it makes us blind for what really is in a chase for something or someone – making us dependent and then addicted. The way to feeling oneness with others leads through complete aloneness, through experiencing our own uniqueness totally – to get rid of fear of loneliness and separateness that pushes us into relationships of illusory reasons. Only when we give up all our goals, desires and expectations – all the scripts for the life and the future – we can fully live in the now, we can be independent, powerful, truly loving and fully offering our gifts to others. For the understanding we seek cannot be found once and for all in any similarity, it is born wherever we practice Love and Truth constantly and consistently, wherever we are able to keep meeting on a deepest level and talking in the soul’s language of feelings.